Amelia

Several people have asked and we are sure many more are wondering about Amelia’s past and why she was given up for adoption. To answer this question we first need to explain a little bit about the Chinese government and its rules and regulations.

China has a ‘one child’ policy, which very much is still in effect, aimed at curbing the population explosion going on in rural China – the problem being that farmers feel that the more kids they have the more hands you have to work the fields. Since the one child policy went into effect if a family has more than one child the family could be penalized by excessive taxes, loss of job, or be ostracized by the community. In the Chinese culture there exists a strong desire to have a son so that he can carry on the family name and care for the parents as they grow older. This creates a great deal of pressure on the family from society, the husband and husband’s family to have a boy. Often when a girl is born there is little celebration but when a boy is born the wife is lauded for preserving the future of her husbands family name. These issues often apply excessive pressure on the family to abandon a girl quickly before the authorities find out about the birth. This would free the family to try again for another child in hopes of having a boy.

The mother may want to keep the baby girl, but the pressure from the rest of the family is too great and ultimately the mother has no choice and must obey the wishes of the husband. Our hearts aches for all of the mother’s who were forced to abandon their babies, what a horrible act this must be for the mother. As you can imagine, these are not ‘bad’ people who abandon their children, they are just doing what they are made to do by family in order to appease the government. As we have already stated, it is part of the culture and something that we may never fully be able to understand no mater how hard we try.

As for Amelia, we will never know for sure exactly who her biological parents are or why she was abandoned, but we have been able to piece together some parts of her puzzle. Amelia was abandoned on October 25, 2006 at a nursing home in Guangning, Guangdong Province, China. She was six days old at the time. We know her birth date since she was left with a note that read that she was born on October 19, 2006. She also was left with a few cans of formula and some baby powder. We do not have the note, as it needs to be kept at the Civil Affairs office, but we were able to see it and have taken photos of it. Our guide Connie was able to tell us that the note was written quickly and that it looked like a man’s writing, she said this is typical because the woman is not usually the one to give up the baby. Connie was surprised that Amelia was six days old when she was abandoned as most babies are only one day old, she thinks this means that the mother tried to keep her and that it was probably a hard decision for her family. Lastly the items that were left with her are expensive and typically only bought in the city, this most likely means that they lived in the city, were of some means and wanted to do the best for her one last time. The orphanage she was taken to also posted a message in the local paper which is the custom, the note stated a few things about her and where she was found. This is done in case a baby is taken forcibly from a family that may have otherwise wanted to keep her or in case grandparents or other relatives want to claim her. If no one answers the posting she is considered abandoned or as the Chinese term it: A Foundling. This is about all we know and feel fortunate that we have this information and will be able to share it with Amelia as she grows older.

We also wanted to talk a little about the orphanage where she was for her first eleven months of life. She was at the Guangning Social Welfare Institute orphanage in Guangning, Guangdong province. We did not visit the orphanage so we do not know first hand about it, but Connie had been there before and we have pictures. The caretakers at the orphanage kindly took several pictures and returned the camera to us. As difficult as it is to see the pictures, we are happy that we have them so we have a better understanding of where she had been. The orphanage is quite small and only has one room with about 15 children. There were a few babies and the rest are older children with special needs. Although the orphanage is small, it is clear that it still is lacking adequate care for the children and supplies. The children sleep on the bare wood of the crib without any mattress or blankets. We were told, by Connie, that this is most likely due to ease of cleaning and possibly to help keep them cooler since it gets quite warm here during the summer months. Oddly, there are many toys hanging from the ceiling but very few to play with. We suspect this is done because the orphanage has so little it cannot give toys to all of the kids, but we find it quite sad that the kids lay in their cribs looking at toys they cannot play with.

In the end, Amelia is a wonderful little girl and we feel blessed that she is a part of our family. We feel fortunate that we have the means to come to China take her home and provide a life for her she may not have otherwise had. We have enjoyed our time here immensely and have experienced so much that has enriched the lives of all of us. We leave this part of the world with very fond memories that we will share with her throughout her life.

Soon we will be home and this part of our journey will be over and a new one will begin. It will be a wonderful night when we all will be in our home under one roof.

Much love to all. Sue and Chris