The final post.

I am sitting on the plane some where over the Bering Sea on our way home from China. Madilyn is sleeping in the two seats to my left, Sue is on my right and Amelia is snoozing on the floor under my feet. The trip thus far has not been easy for we have been up since 4:45 AM, are on our second plane and already spent 4.5 hours in airports. When all is done I suspect the trip from door to door will be 30 hours or so. Sue, Madi and myself are doing fine but poor Amelia is having a tough time sleeping with all the noise and commotion around us, hence the comfortable nest made up for her on the floor. There are several babies on the flight and there always seems to be one or two screaming about something (Amelia included).

I just wanted to post one last time at the end of the trip to close the loop. This trip has been nothing short of miraculous.

We now have another daughter who is a wonderful child and has quickly become part of our family. She knows us now as her family and comes to us while shying away from others. She plays with us, lights up when one of us returns from being away and cracks a great big smile when one of us shows up at the edge of her crib. She may be a bit quiet for our household right now but she will learn that this clan makes a lot of ruckus and is always on the move (she probably already figured this part out, poor thing). I am sure she will learn to keep up quick.

Madilyn has been nothing short of spectacular, I cannot say enough about how great she has been. I can think of only one episode where she really struggled and it was a tough spot where we spent all day on our feet in Beijing then flew to Guangzhou and had to rip her from sleep at 11:00 at night, she cried for about 10 minutes then asked why China was so stinky and commenced playing games with us (keeping Sue and I from spitting fire btw). She has tolerated every meeting, every airport, every plane ride, every tour, every endless bus ride and every crappy meal. At times she has offered the calmest head saying ‘it’s ok daddy’ with a pat on the leg when I was fired up about something or ‘that’s ok, I wasn’t that hungry’ when the meal we received was horrible and she was starving. I could not imagine taking this trip without her. The endless inquisitive questions, the perfect reactions to uncomfortable situations, the instant affection for Amelia, her tolerance of me pushing her along when we are in a rush, saying ‘ok’ every single time we said it was bed time, sleeping anywhere including: the hotel floor, busy markets, cabs, stinky busses and just about every plane we got on. She never failed us on this trip, always Madi just taking things in stride.

The trip itself was truly an experience of a lifetime and will forever shape who we are as a family. Not only do we have a new addition to the family we have learned a lot about an extraordinary culture and a lot about us as a family. We have been part of two warm and friendly communities, one in the Chinese people and another in the adoptive families we spent a great deal of time with.

One quick tangent: We met a family adopting a 10 year old blind girl, another family a 6 year old deaf girl and many, many other special needs children. These families are truly heroic in what they are doing. We are here to expand our family, they are improving the life of a child that may not have otherwise been taken care of. Babies like Amelia would have been adopted by another family were It not for us because she is healthy, the boys and girls with cleft lips or other ailments are often left if the orphanage or foster care until they are 18 then turned out to the streets. There were 4 such families in our group alone.

That aside, we feel fortunate to have been able to take this trip and cannot be happier about how it went. I see no other circumstance where we would have spent 2 weeks in a city like Guangzhou doing the things we did or seeing the things we saw.

Updated, Saturday morning…We made it home without a scratch last night and are all healthy. The 14 hour plane ride was not too bad, 4 hours with immigration and customs in Chicago though was awful. Sleeping last night was a bit of an issue but we should be able to work it out in the next couple of days. Now we work on getting life back to normal, as normal as can be with 2 kids under 1 year old.

Thanks for all the support and e-mails we received, a little contact with the outside world went a long way.

A special thanks to Jack and Ina for taking care of Bradford while we were away, infants are hard work and we really appreciate the sacrifices they have made so that we could travel to China for Amelia as a family.

I have posted a bunch of random pictures that we like.

This will be the last post to this blog, I hope you all enjoyed following our trip.

Take care, hope to see you all soon.

Chris, Sue, Madilyn and Amelia.

Amelia

Several people have asked and we are sure many more are wondering about Amelia’s past and why she was given up for adoption. To answer this question we first need to explain a little bit about the Chinese government and its rules and regulations.

China has a ‘one child’ policy, which very much is still in effect, aimed at curbing the population explosion going on in rural China – the problem being that farmers feel that the more kids they have the more hands you have to work the fields. Since the one child policy went into effect if a family has more than one child the family could be penalized by excessive taxes, loss of job, or be ostracized by the community. In the Chinese culture there exists a strong desire to have a son so that he can carry on the family name and care for the parents as they grow older. This creates a great deal of pressure on the family from society, the husband and husband’s family to have a boy. Often when a girl is born there is little celebration but when a boy is born the wife is lauded for preserving the future of her husbands family name. These issues often apply excessive pressure on the family to abandon a girl quickly before the authorities find out about the birth. This would free the family to try again for another child in hopes of having a boy.

The mother may want to keep the baby girl, but the pressure from the rest of the family is too great and ultimately the mother has no choice and must obey the wishes of the husband. Our hearts aches for all of the mother’s who were forced to abandon their babies, what a horrible act this must be for the mother. As you can imagine, these are not ‘bad’ people who abandon their children, they are just doing what they are made to do by family in order to appease the government. As we have already stated, it is part of the culture and something that we may never fully be able to understand no mater how hard we try.

As for Amelia, we will never know for sure exactly who her biological parents are or why she was abandoned, but we have been able to piece together some parts of her puzzle. Amelia was abandoned on October 25, 2006 at a nursing home in Guangning, Guangdong Province, China. She was six days old at the time. We know her birth date since she was left with a note that read that she was born on October 19, 2006. She also was left with a few cans of formula and some baby powder. We do not have the note, as it needs to be kept at the Civil Affairs office, but we were able to see it and have taken photos of it. Our guide Connie was able to tell us that the note was written quickly and that it looked like a man’s writing, she said this is typical because the woman is not usually the one to give up the baby. Connie was surprised that Amelia was six days old when she was abandoned as most babies are only one day old, she thinks this means that the mother tried to keep her and that it was probably a hard decision for her family. Lastly the items that were left with her are expensive and typically only bought in the city, this most likely means that they lived in the city, were of some means and wanted to do the best for her one last time. The orphanage she was taken to also posted a message in the local paper which is the custom, the note stated a few things about her and where she was found. This is done in case a baby is taken forcibly from a family that may have otherwise wanted to keep her or in case grandparents or other relatives want to claim her. If no one answers the posting she is considered abandoned or as the Chinese term it: A Foundling. This is about all we know and feel fortunate that we have this information and will be able to share it with Amelia as she grows older.

We also wanted to talk a little about the orphanage where she was for her first eleven months of life. She was at the Guangning Social Welfare Institute orphanage in Guangning, Guangdong province. We did not visit the orphanage so we do not know first hand about it, but Connie had been there before and we have pictures. The caretakers at the orphanage kindly took several pictures and returned the camera to us. As difficult as it is to see the pictures, we are happy that we have them so we have a better understanding of where she had been. The orphanage is quite small and only has one room with about 15 children. There were a few babies and the rest are older children with special needs. Although the orphanage is small, it is clear that it still is lacking adequate care for the children and supplies. The children sleep on the bare wood of the crib without any mattress or blankets. We were told, by Connie, that this is most likely due to ease of cleaning and possibly to help keep them cooler since it gets quite warm here during the summer months. Oddly, there are many toys hanging from the ceiling but very few to play with. We suspect this is done because the orphanage has so little it cannot give toys to all of the kids, but we find it quite sad that the kids lay in their cribs looking at toys they cannot play with.

In the end, Amelia is a wonderful little girl and we feel blessed that she is a part of our family. We feel fortunate that we have the means to come to China take her home and provide a life for her she may not have otherwise had. We have enjoyed our time here immensely and have experienced so much that has enriched the lives of all of us. We leave this part of the world with very fond memories that we will share with her throughout her life.

Soon we will be home and this part of our journey will be over and a new one will begin. It will be a wonderful night when we all will be in our home under one roof.

Much love to all. Sue and Chris

Mid Autumn Festival

Today is the Mid-Autumn Moon Festival here in China. It is a day that they celebrate the full moon and harvest. The festival is celebrated by having a big dinner with family, lighting lanterns, and eating moon cakes. It is generally compared to Christmas in terms of spending time with family and gift giving.

We wanted to take part in some festivities so we went to the cultural park that is a short walk along the Pearl River from our hotel. It was much fun and just like everything else we have done, Madilyn had a blast! The park was all lit up with lanterns and oversized decorations of pigs (it is the year of the pig), dragons, people, etc. It reminded me of Christmas when you go look at Christmas lights and other yard ornaments people display. We walked all through the park enjoying the sights and also stumbled upon a few amusement park rides. Madilyn drove some crazy bumper like car and her yellow curly hair and squeals of delight drew quite a crowd. Needless to say, I was not the only one taking pictures of her.

This city is always alive with activity, but tonight even more so. People were along the river and in the parks celebrating. I am glad we were here to enjoy the day and witness first hand this celebration here in China.

We finished off the day with dinner and swimming at the pool after Madi's bedtime.

-Sue

The girls

Today was a bit rainy here in Guangzhou, yet we still managed to get some time in at the pool. The staff at the pool must think we are crazy since we spend so much time there no matter what the weather is.

The girls are doing well and Amelia seems to be getting attached to the three of us. I was in a store today holding Amelia and one of the women who work at the store asked to hold her. I said yes. The minute the lady held her Amelia began to cry and reach for me. It was a great feeling to know that she knows who I am and wants to be with me. Of course the lady felt bad, but me, I thought it was wonderful.

Madilyn enjoys playing with Amelia and wants to do everything to care for her. Such as: change her clothes, diaper, push the stroller, etc. As always she is a big help. The only thing is that quite often she wants to give Amelia kisses. At this stage, Amelia is not a fan of the kiss. We are working on changing that.

Amelia continues to grow stronger and more interactive each day. We even notice the difference in her physically when we look back at the pictures we took of her on “got ya day” last Monday. She has more color in her face now and over all just looks healthier and happier. What a difference a week makes!

Hope everyone at home is well.
Sue

A few more pictures from the market

A world away, part 2 on the Qing Ping Market

Today when we went to the market it really felt like we were a world away, in China. I say this, but it only on the other side of the bridge from our hotel. You literally cross the bridge from the island where our hotel is located and everything changed. We knew we were going to have an adventure, but we saw more than I expected. There were dried sea horses, some sort of animal bones (not sure what kind of animal), dried grubs, and many other items that I have no idea what they were. I can not even begin to guess. The market was very large and made its way down several streets. When you looked down the street all you could see was one stall after another over flowing with items. As different as the market is, I am happy that I got to go to the market and see even more of the Chinese culture.

It was too bad that we just ate breakfast because there was a man with a lunch cart and boy did it look appetizing. (he, he)
-Sue

People eat frogs? Part one of a two part series on Qing Ping Market

Today we visited the Qing Ping Market, a traditional Chinese market in every way. There are several different sections to the market but we only visited the traditional herbal remedies portion. We stayed away from the ‘Wet’ market which usually contains various animals, but we still have a few days left to venture there if we get up the nerve.

The market was a 10 minute walk from the hotel but a world away. Instead of Starbucks and pizza delivery we were greeted with huge bags of mushrooms, deer antlers, a zillion different types of roots and even more things that we could not identify. Madilyn took most of this in stride except for the occasional complaint about the smell and one brief conversation:

Madi: What are those?
Dad: Dried frogs.
Madi: To play with? Can I have one?
Dad: No, they are to eat.
Madi: People eat frogs?
Dad: Yes.
Madi: Yuck.

The market was quite interesting and as usual we were pretty much ignored, in fact one guy even encouraged Sue to come closer and take a pic of his huge bucket of live scorpions.

Chris

Quick note on comments

We cannot see the blog or the comments you post. You can always e-mail us at ccorvi@rcn.com.

-CC

Call us lucky

When we received our referral for Amelia we though we were lucky in that we would travel straight to Guangzhou from Beijing instead of heading to the interior of the country before going to Guangzhou. All families must travel through this city in order to complete the necessary paper for the adoption with the US consulate. As we have spoken to other families that we met in Beijing or elsewhere in our travels we have started to realize that we are extraordinarily lucky to be here for the majority of our trip. We have heard of 10 hour bus rides, 5 hour delays at airports, unsafe conditions of the hotels, endless wait times waiting on government appointments and food poisoning. We were told a story today about a family that met their 21 month old special needs child who was staying in foster care. When the time came the foster mother refused to give her up, the child had to be physically removed from the foster mothers arms…I could not imagine having to go through that. We on the other hand, have a personal guide who gets us in and out of every appointment, a great hotel, decent food and we never fear for our safety. Our time is spent shopping, going to the zoo, playing at the pool, nursing sunburns and getting nails done (yes, Sue got her nails done).

Amelia’s transition is going quite well, she is starting to attach to us and puts up a fuss when one of the 3 of us walks away from her. She laughs and giggles with us, she plays with Madi and protects her toys if she thinks Madilyn might take them. This evening I put my hands out to pick her up, a gesture I have done a thousand times with Madi, never expecting a reaction fro her but she lifted her arms as to say ‘yes, please pick me up’. A simple thing, yes, but to me it meant that she is starting to understand and embrace us as a family which is an amazing thing for such a short period of time and for such a young child who has undoubtedly been though some trauma. She has yet to hug me and still does not quite understand a kiss but we will get all that worked out in time.

Amelia has a long road to travel before she will be what we would consider a normal 11 month old child. She eats nothing but formula and rice cereal from a bottle, she winces when she is presented with food on a spoon. She never puts anything in her mouth so she cannot self feed and she is quite a ways from having the strength in her legs to stand. Intellectually though she seems to be quite in tune with her environment, she watches us intently and is very curious, she will play with anything we give her and is a happy baby.

We are very fortunate to have all things on this trip go as well as they have. Very fortunate.

Day at the zoo

Hello,

Our time here is beginning to feel more like a vacation with less stress and hecticness centered on the adoption. For instance, today we went to the zoo. It was really fun and we got to see animals that we have never seen at home such as a rhinoceros and a huge elephant. We also got to go in the monkey exhibit and actually feed the monkeys. Madilyn and I went in. I was surprised when a monkey actually climbed up my body to get the food. It was quite an experience!

I also need to mention that there was a dog at the zoo. It was a small fluffy little thing. I guess they do not have them as pets here. My least favorite animals were the rats. I swore they could climb over their very short wall and come out and nibble on my toes. I only stuck around long enough to take a picture.

Our guide, Connie, also took us shopping. We went to the fabric market and Chris had a few shirts tailor made for him. It was much less expensive then it would be at home. The city is divided up into many different market districts. We went to the electronic market where they sell cameras, DVD players, TV’s, etc. There are many small stores one after another selling the same items. This creates much competition amongst stores thus the buyer is able to barter for the best price. It is a completely different way of shopping than we have at home.

The city is such a massive industrial city that is so congested with traffic. As I sit writing this at 10:30 at night and look out the window at the highway. It is still bumper-to-bumper traffic. It never seems to subside.

We all are doing well and enjoyed our adventurous day in Guangzhou.

Much love- Sue

Various Oddities

Here are a few random pictures of things we have come across.


The crazy pig is on a ride that is not unlike wht you would find outside the grocery store.

There are not many American producs here but for some reason Pringles are everywhere. They are in the mini bar, in the stores and in some restaurants.

The sign about spitting struck me as odd, but the cities are actually pretty clean. There are always people cleaning up and they all use natural straw brooms, the real oddity here is that every synthetic broom used in the states is made in China, but the Chinese use straw.

Papa John seems to have a foot hold on the Pizza business here, apparently papa has 50 stores in China. The pizza was good and they delivered it for about $9. Things in general are pretty cheap if you shop around a bit.

The silk robes they put out on our bed at night are comical.

We are definately not in Kansas

So the White Swan Hotel is an oasis in an otherwise hugely complex and confusing Chinese city. We are on the 24th floor and as far as you can see through the smog are buildings, cranes and traffic. This hotel is on what is called an island, but there are so many bridges to it that it hardly qualifies, but the island itself is part of the history of Guangzhou. This area was the French port back in the 1600’s and you can tell by the architecture: The buildings, the roads and the parks are all very European except that some of the store fronts are selling live grubs, eels and turtles.

On my run this morning I was thinking about the complexity of this city and it occurred to me that this city is 5 times as old as Boston. 2000 years this city has thrived as a commercial and industrial port on the Pearl River. There is no way I could even imagine understanding this city. On one of our trips off the island we traveled a good 10-12 city blocks and saw nothing but small storefronts selling hardware. Another section of city blocks had nothing but sewing machines. We asked our guide about it and she said that the entire city is that way, sections selling all of the same thing in hundreds of similar stores. Unlike cities in the states where each neighborhood has its own hardware store, here you have to travel to the hardware section of the city if you need a bolt to fix something. Although that simplifies it a bit, the reality is that a lot of these stores are wholesale operations where you buy 50,000 bolts at a time for you factory. The wholesale markets here are interesting, we went by the clothing wholesale market and people were hauling away huge bails of fabric and clothing undoubtedly heading for the US as Nike wear. A shocking amount of the transport of goods here seems to be done by bicycle.

We have yet to venture far from the hotel without our guide but we have a few down days coming up so I hope to get to a few of these markets to see what they are all about.

One more thought about being a goofy bald American here. When we are in the hotel there are 100 people just like me and 100 families just like us, but when we do drift away we are clearly in the minority. On my run this AM I went about 15 minutes up the banks of the Pearl River then turned around and I saw one person like me. Now, sometimes when you are a stranger in a strange land you are treated a bit as an outcast but not here, although there was not a sole around who looked like me or who was doing what I was doing, I was pretty much accepted as part of the landscape. We have found the people here in everything we have done to be quite nice and are either polite, ogle over Madi or just treat us like they would treat anybody else – with complete ambivalence. Beijing was not quite the same because I think they are used to tourists and have developed a system of hounding people to buy stuff, not here though, we have not met an aggressive sole since we have been in Guangzhou trying to sell me a Mao Tse-Tung watch (why would I want a Mao Tse-Tung watch?).